When we ask other people to do something, we often come with a demanding energy, which sends a message that the other person must do as we ask, or else. This can happen even when the language we use seemingly contains only a request. For a request to be pure, we must be willing to accept a refusal.  When we make hidden demands, the person who hears them may sense that there will be negative repercussions unless they agree.

This may create an awkward or even hostile atmosphere. Most people tend to rebel against demands, and prefer to make free choices. Even if they agree to our requests, they may not do so willingly; as a result, they may develop a sense of resentment, which may come back and hurt you or the relationship.

In situations where you feel compelled to make a demand but want to transform it into a request, you can process your emotions before communicating it. This can lead to a softer approach, which will probably be better received.