Ask “why?” When you find you don’t understand something in a situation, instead of saying “I don’t understand,” ask why something about the topic is the way it is. When you’re in an argument with someone, instead of telling them that you didn’t like what they did or said, ask them why they did it or said it. Or when you’re on the opposite side and someone is angry with you, instead of being defensive, ask them why they feel the way they do about whatever you did.