Basically, you just stop, take at least three long breaths, and then think about the action you’re on the verge of taking. Ask yourself why you are about to do whatever it is. To get the answer, try to connect with your authentic self, deep inside you, and ask what is calling you to engage in the behavior? What need are you fulfilling?

If the answer is one that feels right, positive, and healthy, then you know you should go ahead and do it. Otherwise, it is not an action you should take. If you stop and think on these things frequently enough, you will break bad habits.

For example, if a man is about to watch porn, if he stops to think about it for a minute and ask why he’s doing so, he may realize that he’s doing it because he thinks he’s supposed to. Most men consume porn because we are programmed by society, by advertisers, or other influencers. If he realizes that, he may feel he’s lost his voice not only about that choice but about the type of women he is supposed to be attracted to, the type of sexual acts he prefers, etc. Meanwhile, porn is mostly exploitative and degrading of women. So, he may also feel confused and awkward about watching in. In which case, he should refrain. However, if you feel right about watching it, then watch it.

Another example is one just about everybody can relate to. You see a delicious looking cake and your knee-jerk reaction is to eat the cake. However, if you are on a diet or trying to cut back on sugar, that’s the time to stop and think about the cake and ask if you really want it or are you reaching for it out of habit? If you really want it, indulge. If you’re just reaching for it because it’s in front of you and that’s what you usually do with cake, then do something else. But, if you’re in the mood to celebrate or you truly want the cake for a real reason, then give yourself permission to eat it.