When you notice someone in a discourse is not acting from a calm place, that is a sign that a break in the conversation needs to happen. At that point, you can suggest to the other person that you both slow down—or possibly just that you need to slow down—and take a break from the conversation. Try to lower the pace of your speaking when you ask for the break then physically step away, possibly to another room, but at least a few feet away.

The break could last for a few minutes or a few days. Give both of you permission to take as long as you need to breathe and attain a calm state in your body. Only when you can speak calmly and come from the right place inside (not from anger or fear, which would suggest you are being triggered, but from your authentic feelings), should you resume the conversation.

If the break is happening because you are triggered, the question revolves around can you, or are you able to, be empathetic with the other person (see Empathy tool 2.20)? If not, continue the break until you can.

If the break is happening because the other person feels triggered, you should only continue the conversation if you can feel empathy.

Only when you both reach a state of calm, when you can be empathetic with each other, should the conversation continue.