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Whatever Works

A toolkit for self optimization

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09/21/2023
22:12
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  • chapter icon
    Introduction
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  • chapter icon
    The Meta Tool
  • chapter icon
    Productivity
    expand chapter
    • 1.1 What if I Had to Decide Now?
    • 1.2 Delay Decisions until the Optimum ..
    • 1.3 Disconnect
    • 1.5 Mind Mapping
    • 1.7 🏛️ Getting Things Done
    • 1.10 Default to Openness
    • 1.12 Pause and Ask Why
  • chapter icon
    Relationships and Communication
    expand chapter
    • 2.1 🏛️ Nonviolent Communication
    • 2.2 Prefer Requests over Demands
    • 2.4 Post Mortem after Arguments
    • 2.5 Mega Threads
    • 2.6 Active Listening
    • 2.7 Radical Honesty
    • 2.8 When Triggered, Pause
    • 2.10 Silence
  • chapter icon
    Therapy
    expand chapter
    • 3.1 Go to Therapy
    • 3.3 Gratitude
    • 3.4 Talk to Your Inner Selves
    • 3.8 Talk about Therapy inTherapy
    • 3.9 Make the Most of Therapy
  • chapter icon
    Spirit
    expand chapter
    • 4.1 🏛️ Meditation
    • 4.2 Everyday Mindfulness
    • 4.6 Kōans and Mu
    • 4.9 Enlightenment is Always Now
  • chapter icon
    Mind
    expand chapter
    • 5.1 Write Book Reviews
    • 5.6 Physical Memory Tricks
    • 5.9 Find Your Purpose
  • chapter icon
    Body – Health and Sports
    expand chapter
    • 6.9 Agree to Be Hungry
  • chapter icon
    Other
    expand chapter

Relationships and Communication

If we could read the secret history of our enemies, we should find in each man’s life sorrow and suffering enough to disarm all hostility.

-attributed to Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

One of the most meaningful things we can do is have relationships, and the cornerstone of all relationships is good communication. Unfortunately, we're not born with the innate ability to interact well with other people or communicate effectively. Instead, we're taught by the environment (within our families, in school, etc.), learning by living through experiences. Consequently, without a structured curriculum and standards for what we are.. Read More

If we could read the secret history of our enemies, we should find in each man’s life sorrow and suffering enough to disarm all hostility.

-attributed to Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

One of the most meaningful things we can do is have relationships, and the cornerstone of all relationships is good communication. Unfortunately, we're not born with the innate ability to interact well with other people or communicate effectively. Instead, we're taught by the environment (within our families, in school, etc.), learning by living through experiences. Consequently, without a structured curriculum and standards for what we are supposed to learn, we build relationships and learn to communicate through trial by fire.

Some people wind up thriving and easily build healthy relationships. Others struggle to even know what they want as far as relationships go, and then struggle even more to maintain them. They have difficulty working through conflict, understanding themselves and the people they have in their lives, and managing their emotions.

Should you have trouble with your relationships, or need some help being a better communicator, then the following tools can be of assistance. They are all designed to help you interact better with other people and with yourself. Whether in situations with romantic partners, family members with  virtual strangers (e.g., at a new job or a dinner party where you don’t know anyone) these tools provide ways to connect, to interact, and to avoid and resolve conflicts. They help you understand yourself and why you are expressing yourself the way you habitually do, and they assist you to gain clarity around the motivations and needs of others.

Sometimes the best form of communication is silence—whether in the form of listening with intention or in the form of giving yourself and another person some emotional space to process events or arguments. There are tools here to help make those softer modes of communication effective and productive. Equally, there are tools to facilitate better verbal or written expressions.

Finally, you will find tools in this section that deal more with the nuances of relationships. They provide insight into figuring out the kinds of relationships you want as well as methods for improving the relationships you’re already in.

The Pillar tool for this chapter is Nonviolent Communication, which is where we’ll begin our list.


If we could read the secret history of our enemies, we should find in each man’s life sorrow and suffering enough to disarm all hostility.

-attributed to Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

One of the most meaningful things we can do is have relationships, and the cornerstone of all relationships is good communication. Unfortunately, we're not born with the innate ability to interact well with other people or communicate effectively. Instead, we're taught by the environment (within our families, in school, etc.), learning by living through experiences. Consequently, without a structured curriculum and standards for what we are.. Read More

If we could read the secret history of our enemies, we should find in each man’s life sorrow and suffering enough to disarm all hostility.

-attributed to Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

One of the most meaningful things we can do is have relationships, and the cornerstone of all relationships is good communication. Unfortunately, we're not born with the innate ability to interact well with other people or communicate effectively. Instead, we're taught by the environment (within our families, in school, etc.), learning by living through experiences. Consequently, without a structured curriculum and standards for what we are supposed to learn, we build relationships and learn to communicate through trial by fire.

Some people wind up thriving and easily build healthy relationships. Others struggle to even know what they want as far as relationships go, and then struggle even more to maintain them. They have difficulty working through conflict, understanding themselves and the people they have in their lives, and managing their emotions.

Should you have trouble with your relationships, or need some help being a better communicator, then the following tools can be of assistance. They are all designed to help you interact better with other people and with yourself. Whether in situations with romantic partners, family members with  virtual strangers (e.g., at a new job or a dinner party where you don’t know anyone) these tools provide ways to connect, to interact, and to avoid and resolve conflicts. They help you understand yourself and why you are expressing yourself the way you habitually do, and they assist you to gain clarity around the motivations and needs of others.

Sometimes the best form of communication is silence—whether in the form of listening with intention or in the form of giving yourself and another person some emotional space to process events or arguments. There are tools here to help make those softer modes of communication effective and productive. Equally, there are tools to facilitate better verbal or written expressions.

Finally, you will find tools in this section that deal more with the nuances of relationships. They provide insight into figuring out the kinds of relationships you want as well as methods for improving the relationships you’re already in.

The Pillar tool for this chapter is Nonviolent Communication, which is where we’ll begin our list.


2.1 🏛️ Nonviolent Communication
114 Views 2.1 🏛️ Nonviolent Communication
2.2 Prefer Requests over Demands
82 Views 2.2 Prefer Requests over Demands
2.4 Post Mortem after Arguments
87 Views 2.4 Post Mortem after Arguments
2.5 Mega Threads
157 Views 2.5 Mega Threads
2.6 Active Listening
163 Views 2.6 Active Listening
2.7 Radical Honesty
108 Views 2.7 Radical Honesty
2.8 When Triggered, Pause
92 Views 2.8 When Triggered, Pause
2.10 Silence
167 Views 2.10 Silence
8 Tools

Categories

Introduction The Meta Tool Productivity Relationships and Communication Therapy
Spirit Mind Body – Health and Sports Other

Contact

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Ⓒ All rights reserved to Ron Gross, 2022
Chapters and Tools
Add new tool
Home
09/21/2023
22:12
Paragraph: INSERT TITLE
  • chapter icon
    Introduction
    expand chapter
  • chapter icon
    The Meta Tool
  • chapter icon
    Productivity
    expand chapter
    • 1.1 What if I Had to Decide Now?
    • 1.2 Delay Decisions until the Optimum ..
    • 1.3 Disconnect
    • 1.5 Mind Mapping
    • 1.7 🏛️ Getting Things Done
    • 1.10 Default to Openness
    • 1.12 Pause and Ask Why
  • chapter icon
    Relationships and Communication
    expand chapter
    • 2.1 🏛️ Nonviolent Communication
    • 2.2 Prefer Requests over Demands
    • 2.4 Post Mortem after Arguments
    • 2.5 Mega Threads
    • 2.6 Active Listening
    • 2.7 Radical Honesty
    • 2.8 When Triggered, Pause
    • 2.10 Silence
  • chapter icon
    Therapy
    expand chapter
    • 3.1 Go to Therapy
    • 3.3 Gratitude
    • 3.4 Talk to Your Inner Selves
    • 3.8 Talk about Therapy inTherapy
    • 3.9 Make the Most of Therapy
  • chapter icon
    Spirit
    expand chapter
    • 4.1 🏛️ Meditation
    • 4.2 Everyday Mindfulness
    • 4.6 Kōans and Mu
    • 4.9 Enlightenment is Always Now
  • chapter icon
    Mind
    expand chapter
    • 5.1 Write Book Reviews
    • 5.6 Physical Memory Tricks
    • 5.9 Find Your Purpose
  • chapter icon
    Body – Health and Sports
    expand chapter
    • 6.9 Agree to Be Hungry
  • chapter icon
    Other
    expand chapter
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